Today, I have just really felt all alone. My husband had a ton of errands today to run before he went to work, then my parents left within 5 minutes of my husband going to run his errands. Even with the kids here, everything seemed so empty. I tried to keep busy, but the feeling of being stranded in the middle of an ocean kept sweeping over me. I tried getting online to chat with some of my fellow Etsians, but I felt like I was being left out of the conversation every time I commented. I felt as if they were all rolling their eyes and sighing "Oh great, it's her." I feel like I have been banished.
An ever widening sense of sadness and abandonment has loomed all day. Even now, writing this isn't helping as I thought it would. I type on the edge of tears...maybe I'm just being hormonal. That's just an excuse.
My phone never rings. I never receive anything in the mail that isn't a bill. One might say, "Well, why don't you do those things for others and it will come back to you. You reap what you so, after all." Guess what, I do those things already. I call those I don't see in church on Sunday or Wednesday...email encouragement, post encouragement on Facebook, send little happies over text message and through the mail.
We all need encouragement from time to time. And I am in bad need of some right now.
Than I'll send some encouragement your way! :)
ReplyDeleteI find that if I focus too much on myself and what I want, then I've taken my eyes off my wonderful Savior. That's when I feel most alone, which can never be because my Savior, my Friend has promised to never leave me. The problem is that I've stopped looking at Him in all His glorious beauty. He is the One who was truly alone as He hung on the cross crying, "My God, why have you forsaken me?" He endured being forsaken, so that His people would be forgiven and reconciled to their Creator. Now I am free to serve Him with a heart full of thankfulness, love, and joy no matter the circumstances of my life. So, "turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace."
Well, I said a little prayer for you! When I need encouragement I read the psalms. David always seems to voice just what I am feeling.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you and hugs sent with love,
Dana