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Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Feeling Like an Island

Today, I have just really felt all alone.  My husband had a ton of errands today to run before he went to work, then my parents left within 5 minutes of my husband going to run his errands.  Even with the kids here, everything seemed so empty.  I tried to keep busy, but the feeling of being stranded in the middle of an ocean kept sweeping over me.  I tried getting online to chat with some of my fellow Etsians, but I felt like I was being left out of the conversation every time I commented.  I felt as if they were all rolling their eyes and sighing "Oh great, it's her."  I feel like I have been banished.

An ever widening sense of sadness and abandonment has loomed all day. Even now, writing this isn't helping as I thought it would.  I type on the edge of tears...maybe I'm just being hormonal.  That's just an excuse.

My phone never rings. I never receive anything in the mail that isn't a bill.  One might say, "Well, why don't you do those things for others and it will come back to you. You reap what you so, after all."  Guess what, I do those things already.  I call those I don't see in church on Sunday or Wednesday...email encouragement, post encouragement on Facebook, send little happies over text message and through the mail.

We all need encouragement from time to time.  And I am in bad need of some right now.